What Is Up With This World?

This is going to be one strange Christmas, to say the least. At this time last year, and even in early May of this year, my mom was still the vibrant, well spoken, intelligent being that she has always been. Right around Christmas last year, she found 2 "suspicious" sites on her arm. She thought nothing of them at first, until they began to bother her. Still thinking nothing of it, but being cautious, she visited her family physician. He took some samples and diagnosed it as MRSA, the most dangerous form of staph infection. Antibiotics were prescribed and she was advised to follow up with blood tests to make certain the infection had been erradicated. She did so and was given a clean bill of health.

Around May 22nd, she feel ill with what she thought was an awful sinus infection. Within days, she was incoherent and extremely ill, hospitalized at the Lady of the Lake in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She underwent a great deal of treatment that included rounds of Vancomycin, one of the only drugs known to fight MRSA. The MRSA has invaded her nasal cavity and was very close to entering her brain. She was treated and finally discharged about 3 weeks later and given a good prognosis - only a warning that it could very well return someday in another part of her body and that if that were to happen, it would very likely happen with a vengeance.

Turns out that was one time the doctors were right. About 3 weeks later, she began experiencing excruciating back pain with weakness and tingling in her legs. She was scheduled to return to see her family doctor on a Monday and the night before, her legs gave way and she fell to the floor, unable to move them. She was transported by ambulance to the Lake and was hospitalized. After a battery of tests the following day, she was diagnosed as having a fracture and large spinal tumor from T10 on down 5 levels. We were given the option of having her undergo radiation therapy. We refused as if this were not a tumor, she would not be able to have any other kind of surgery to remove whatever it might be. We were advised by a wonderful neurosurgeon (Dr. Eric Oberlander) that given her history of MRSA, it could possibly be a spinal absess. We made the decision for him to operate and we basically just placed his further judgment into the hands of our good Lord. During the surgery, Dr. Oberlander discovered that it was indeed a spinal absess (the MRSA had gotten into her spine and had erradicated 5 levels of her vetebral bodies). Dr. Oberlander was wonderful throughout the entire ordeal and both he and his office staff genuinely and compassionately cared for my mom. At the end of July, when the first spinal surgery was performed, her prognosis was not good, however he did seem somewhat confident that he may at some point, have been able to reconstruct some of the deteriorated vertebral bodes. She stayed in the hospital for quite a while and once she seemed to make some progress with the excruciating back pain, she was discharged to a rehab in Baton Rouge which was nothing more than a staging area for the nursing home attached to it. She received substandard care, to say the very least. When she was admitted there, she was able to stand; by the time she left, she was a paraplegic and of course, she has been ever since. She was hospitalized again and underwent a spinal surgery to remove another absess that had returned with a vengeance, just as the doctor had warned. After a series of hospital stays and rehab stints, we made that always heart wrenching decision to place her in a nursing home. There was no other option.

For so many reasons, my mother is having trouble adjusting. There are times when she is completely lucid and other times, when she exhibits symptoms of moderate dementia. This is not the mother I remember and we all feel so helpless because there is just nothing we can do, other than to offer words of encouragement. This seems to do nothing for her morale and she cannot understand why she cannot come home for Christmas and stay. This is just impossible.

We are praying for a miracle for her. We miss her and it breaks my heart to see her bedridden for 22 of the 24 hours of her day. This is certainly going to be a weird Christmas. It will not be the same.

However, there is a bright spot in this cloud, in my opinion. A lot of the nursing home residents will not have any guests at all. I feel that my family can be a blessing to those who have no one visiting them. My dad has a hard time staying for more than a few minutes. I think he cries every time he leaves, knowing that he is having to leave his wife of 48 years. Yet, I can't help but be thankful that she is still with us, even if she is not the same. I made intricate, decorated bookmarks & bracelets for nearly each of the 100 employees of the nursing home. Honestly, I feel like I could just keel over right here in front of my computer and sleep for days, but I look forward to handing those out to the staff. A large percentage of them are extremely underpaid for the difficult jobs they have and I believe we should always thank those who are in the most unique positions to touch people. Pass along a little kindness and it will be passed on to others and so forth.

We nearly lost my mother this year and I unexpectedly lost a friend in mid-November. I know realize how fortunate we all are to have anything and everything we have - especially each other. If you have a friend or relative you never seem to get around to seeing or telling them what they mean to you, do something about that before it is too late. You know, I can still tell my mom what she means, but I cannot tell Margo - I just wish I had one last chance to tell her what she meant to me and to the world around her.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Make the best of each and every opportunity and each and every day. Let your friends know what they truly mean to you and always, make sure your parents or those close to you know how much you love them. You just never know when that may be your last opportunity.